Identity.
The stories tell of events which shape the identities of the mothers and daughters and give direction to their lives. The mothers do not question their identities because of they came from a stable culture where their families were integrated. Their daughters coming from a different culture, however, are confused about their identities and often question who they really are.
Communication
The mothers try to do their job and encourages their daughters to succeed and tries to help them and give them advice. On the other hand, the daughters look at their mother's attempts and feel as if they are meddling with their lives and preventing them from becoming an independent individual.
The past and the present.
The mothers' past lives in China affect their daughters' lives in this country like how the daughters' childhood experiences affect their identities and future.
Language.
Because they lack a common language, the Chinese mothers and American daughters cannot communicate well. An example is St. Clair and his wife. St. Clair cannot communicate with his wife, and so he changes her name and her birth date, taking away her identity. On the other hand, Lena St. Clair mistranslates for her father and for her mother.
Expectation and reality.
The mothers have great hopes for their daughters; their expectations for their daughters include not just success but also freedom. They do not want their daughters' lives to be planned out for them and make unhappy as they were during their childhood.
Chinese culture versus American culture.
Chinese culture versus American culture regularly appears throughout the book, from the struggle of understanding the American way and Chinese heritage to the appearances of the mothers and daughters like Lena St. Clair's eyes to Lindo Jong's Chinese/American face.
